The Whole Cow

I want to buy a cow.  Are you interested?  I don't mean a living cow, that would be awkward. Setting up Bessie in the 10x20 foot patch of grass that is my building's front yard would be frowned upon by my neighbors, land lord, Los Angeles zoning officials, and probably the cow itself.  I don't want to rear the cow, I just want to eat it.  This has come on for various reasons, including two great sources of liberal propaganda I highly recommend; Michael Pollan's 'Omnivore's Dilemma' and King Corn.  People, like an associate who runs Eat Less Beef point out the moral, economic, and social problems presented by eating mass raised beef.  They have interesting ideas and present terrifying facts, but at the end of the day all I want to do is make sure I put the best things into my body.  And eat REALLY GOOD STEAK.

Now eating high quality beef means paying more, which leads to buying less, which leads to eating less beef.

All I am really looking for is a great piece of beef.  There's a general school of thought that cattle raised on an open range lead to better tasting beef, and I intend to find out for myself.  You can find labels in super markets declaring steak 'organic,' 'free ranged,' and 'grass feed.'  The USDA has a description of what it means to be an 'organic' animal. Here's a quote:

"All organically raised animals must have

access to the outdoors, including access to

pasture for ruminants. They may be temporarily

confined only for reasons of health, safety, the

animal’s stage of production, or to protect soil

or water quality."

What exactly is access to the outdoors?  There's other bits in the document which are equally vague.  Furthermore, it looks like the term Grass Fed isn't regulated, but is simply part of a voluntary labeling standard.  That means Whole Foods may be carrying Grass Fed beef, but its only Grass Fed because the guy who sold it to them said so.  So how do I know if I am getting grass fed beef?  By going straight to the source.  I aim to find a farmer who will not only sell me grass fed beef, but let me go to their ranch and inspect the heifer myself.  I'm a bit worried this may involve buying a whole cow, so recruiting friends will be necessary.  I'll keep you updated on this excursion.

Bourbon Article

I've been a fan of premium Bourbons for two years now, and argue they should at least be considered as existing at the same level as single malt scotches. I was happy to see this New York times article all about the 'Spirit of America', found here.

Turkey Recipe Images

Carve a Turkey

A great video for carving a whole turkey efficiently can be found after the link here. It is definitely not for table side presentation, but it helps in showing how to get the meat into serving sizes.

Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe

I've developed this recipe over the past several years. It involves a process called brining and a Shallot Herb Butter. The brining takes more planning but guarantees moist meat, and the cooking time is pretty forgiving. The shallot herb butter can be used on other poultry, rich cuts of beef, bread, and veggies. This version feeds 5 to 10 people depending on the fixings and appetites, but can be easily expanded to fit a bigger bird. The shopping list tends to fall between $30 and $80 bucks depending on what's around the house, but per person this is not too bad. Preparation time with an uncooked bird is half an hour of work followed by waiting 12 hours, with 3.5 to 4 hours cooking time.
Needed Equipment
Disposible Aluminum Roasting Pan
Cookie Sheet of the same size
Insta-read thermometer
Large Tongs
8" or longer knife
Tinfoil
12 Quart or larger container with lid
Shopping List
10-15 Pound Turkey, thawed
1/2 lbs Butter
1 Bunch Carrots
4 Medium Onions
1 Bunch celery
4 Shallots
3-6 Cloves Garlic
1 Apple
1 Lemon
1 Bunch Fresh Sage
1 Bunch Fresh Thyme
1 Bunch Fresh Rosemary

1 Cup Brown Sugar
1 Cup Kosher Salt, plus a little more
Fresh Ground Pepper
2 lbs Ice

Preparation: (4-12 Hours or more in advance)

1. The Brine- In a sauce pan bring 2 quarts to a near boil. Stir in the brown sugar and kosher salt and poor into the 12 quart container. Add the ice and put aside. (This dissolves the sugar and salt for what will become the brine).
   
2. The Bird- Rinse the bird and thoroughly under cold water, and pull out the little plastic popper (this is useless). Clean out any giblets and pieces from the cavities, and trim the piece of fat off from where the neck would extend. Place the bird in the container from step one and top off with cold water until the whole turkey is submerged. Cover and place in a cool, safe place (like the fridge or outdoors should you be north). Half way through the 4-12 hour period flip the bird end over end. (This is brining, and it opens up all the muscle mass in the bird, hydrating and flavoring all the meat. This should keep the bird moist and delicious).
3. Shallot Herb Butter- Take out the 1/2 lbs of butter and allow it to soften on the counter. Dice and crush the four shallots, and 3/4 of the bunches of sage, thyme, and rosemary. Blend these with the butter into a smooth paste and add salt and pepper to taste. Put aside until 1 hour before cooking time (This will be a major source of flavor when cooking the bird, and make your house smell great).

Cooking The Bird (3-4 Hours)

1. Ready the Bird- Preheat the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit. Remove the bird from the brine, rinse lightly, and pat dry. Put it aside. Allow the Shallot Herb Butter to soften by removing it from the refrigerator, but make sure it doesn't melt.
   
2. Setting the Pan- Slice the onions into sections about 1 inch thick, and half the carrots to be about the same thickness. Separate and wash the celery. Place these vegetables across the bottom of the aluminum pan flatly, building a little rack. Reserve half an onion and one carrot for stuffing the bird later. Place the aluminum pan on top of the cookie sheet. (This provides a natural roasting rack for the bird, as well as flavor, aromatics, and a good start for a pan gravy later on, and the cookie sheet makes it easy to move in and out of the oven).
3. Butter and Stuff the Bird- With your hands rub the Shallot Herb Butter over the entire outer surface of the bird, and under the skin where it has started to separated. Stuff any remaining butter into the cavity. Split the lemon, apple, and remaining vegetables so they will fit inside the cavity of the bird and put them there, along with the garlic (peeled) and remaining sprigs of thyme, sage, and rosemary. (While most people put their actual stuffing in the bird I prefer to cook it separately, focusing on these more flavor intense fillings).
4. The Hot Roast- Place the bird into the 450 degree oven on the middle oven rack as far in the center as possible. Allow to cook for 20 minutes and then remove from the oven and turn it down to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. (This stage begins the roasting process and browns the outside of the bird. The rest of the process is done at a lower temperature).
5. Tinfoil Protection- Quickly fashion a triangular shaped shield large enough to cover the breast of the turkey and fit it over the bird, making sure it is secure. Fashion similar shields for the tips of the wings and place the entire bird back in the 350 Degree oven. (The tinfoil acts as a heat diffuser, making sure the breast meat doesn't dry out and the keeps the wings from burning while the dark meat gets the temperature it needs).
   
6. Roast- Allow the turkey to roast at this temperature for 15 minutes for every pound the turkey weighs. If using a 12 pound bird this should be roughly three hours. Rotate a half circle once in the middle of cooking to adjust for an uneven oven.
7. Finishing the Roast- Towards the end of the cooking time remove the tinfoil and insert an insta-read thermometer into the thickest part of the breast, being careful not to touch the bone. Allow the thermometer to stop moving to get an accurate read. If it is less than 155 degrees Fahrenheit than place the bird back in the oven (sans tinfoil) and check again in 10 minutes. Once 155 degrees is reached take out the bird and let rest for 10 to 15 minutes. (The heat will carry over and bring the entire temperature to at least 165 degrees, making it safe to eat. The resting period lets the juices settle as well, so less moisture will be lost).
8. Carve and Serve- Carefully place the bird on a large cutting bird and carve. (Carving can be challenging, and I recommend using a longer sharp knife as well as doing some research. Gravy can be made using the pan drippings. Dig up more information from sites like the Food Network and the Butterball page).
   

Dealing with the first Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away, and I am loosing my mind. Its not that I'm busy, or intimidated, just the opposite. This Thanksgiving well be the fourth one Nicole(the better half) and I have hosted since becoming contributing members of society, and we've cooked a whole turkey at least half a dozen times. I consider us a well oiled machine, and last year we hosted my mother, a woman who has basically prepared the bulk of T-day meals on her own for the past fifteen years. She was amazed at how independent Nicole and I were, and sat in the corner feeling like she was somehow letting the universe down by not being busy. I loose my mind over Thanksgiving not because of stress, but at the excitement of putting a ridiculously good meal together for some friends and watching them stuff themselves silly. Its one of those special events, like Superbowl or the yearly Crayfish boil hosted by Paige and Jeff, where we all go overboard.

I know many of us younger folks who are far from home find ourselves hosting our very own Orphan Holidays, and are intermediated by the shear mass of that infant-like 15 pound bird thawing in the sink, and the fear of holding a poor substitute for how Mom does things. But over the past several years Nicole and I have managed to reign in the meal to something that is easy to time, provides little stress, and is relatively light on the wallet. It just takes some planning and restraint, and expects your friends to pull a little bit of the weight. Here are some tips for making your first Thanksgiving a manageable affair. I'll follow up with another entry detailing a great turkey recipe.

• Roast a Chicken: Not necessarily for the Thanksgiving meal (though a good idea for five people or less), but sometime before hand. Its hard to know where to begin with something so large and unprocessed like a turkey, and while a chicken is not quite the same thing I think it helps get over some of the intimidation factor. Roasting a whole chicken helps you realize what goes into preparing a big piece of meat, builds confidence, and makes you think about timing. And is just a good skill to have.
• Bet on Your Friends: Trying to cook every little side dish and dressing yourself on top of the big bird is really hard. and most apartment dwellers will run out of pots, pans, and space before they get halfway through the meal. Ask that your guests bring their own stuff, so you can focus on the big ticket items like the bird, mash potatoes, and gravy. Everyone has specific dishes from their family's holiday table, and its really cool to share these traditions with one another.
  
• Turkey Rules: Chances are you never have had to shop for a turkey. While I'll get to the recipe in another post, there's some tips for grabbing the right size bird. Frozen is fine, just make sure you have several days to let it thaw in the fridge (or run cold water over it for long time). I go with about a pound and a half of turkey per person. Eight ounces is a generous protein serving, but you have to account for the bird's bones, left overs, and gluttons. Another rule of thumb for guessing the cooking time (using my method) is 15-20 minutes for every pound. You want to yank the bird out when you have an internal temperature of 155 degrees Fahrenheit, and the bird will continue to cook the last 1o degrees to the FDAA poultry guideline of 165. Butterball has a fancy site if you can stomach adver-info, found here.
• Got the Gear: Make sure you have enough plates, glasses, forks, knives, etc. to hook up all your guests (unless you're going for a medieval theme). If not, go plastic or get cheap stuff from a place like Target or Ikea. Beyond that, you're going to want an Instaread thermometer, a sharp knife at least 8" long, a big cutting board, one or two long pairs of tongs, a cookie sheet, oven mitts, and one of those throwaway aluminum roasting pans. These are the essentials, and I'm sure you can borrow, steal, or jerry-rig anything else you need.
• Relax: Get drunk, eat too much, have fun. If it is a complete disaster, so what? You've got a funny story and why don't your friends offer to host if they could do better. Perfection is for trophy wives and Martha Stewart, but Thanksgiving is all about giving into your inner fat bastard with friends and family.
  

To Eat and Live in LA

I found this fun but short article on the New York Times website that really captures the dietary contradictions of living in Los Angeles. It is bizarre that the land of raw food and steamed fish diets is the birth place of fast food and the bacon wrapped hot dog. I can't speak to these recipes, but enjoy the article.
The Hollywood Diet
by Jennifer Steinhauer